Saturday, August 19, 2006

I'm Tired Of These Mothafuckin Snakes...

So, the movie actually isn't bad. Oh, it's bad, but I had a good time anyway. The whole "internet" thing totally lowered everyone's expectations; with quality a non-factor, people seemed to have a pretty good time with it. And it even has a life-affirming message!

I find it amusing that this is the first movie post I've needed to qualify with spoiler warnings; NO film deserves such warnings less. But hey, that's life.


Personally, I think they went a little overboard with the snakes. No, just kidding, but there was a lot of gratuitous shit that had nothing to do with the snakes. That stuff bothered me. What's the point of killing somebody as a joke if the snakes didn't do it? Getting trampled by some asshole in high heels is funny? The movie isn't called Cunts On A Plane. It's called Motherfucking Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane. So if some poor bastard has a gruesome death that does not come at the hands (?) of a snake, what's the point? That pissed me off.

More importantly, the climax leaves something to be desired. Getting sucked out into the ocean via vacuum? What the fuck kind of shitty ending is that?!? As someone who inserts "GET OFF MY PLANE!!!" into everyday conversation, I was hoping for an Air Force One-esque moment where Samuel L. has a big "showdown" with the "king" snake or whatever. But no. They have a "clever" idea and it makes the problem disappear. Sorry, but that's not gonna cut it. It's like if Jaws had ended with Roy Scheider calling the Coast Guard. Laaaaaame.

Though on the flip side, a snake got peed on. Now THAT'S entertainment! I'll buy THAT fer a doller!!!


Anyway, I did have a good time. I'm impressed at how they kept those snakes under control. Pretty amazing job of snake-wrangling.

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