Holy jalapenos in a hot pocket... it's been almost six months since I said a damn thing. The last thing I said was "Grizzly Bear is awesome," and the only activity is a gaggle of Google-ogling haters reminding me that my Hate Binky post is the #1 search result on Google for "Animal Collective sucks." Not complaining about that per se... cause hey, fight the powers that be. But I have hit blog bottom, and it smells like moth balls down here. Time to bust out the biscuits and strike up the band.
So let's see what I've been up to, culture-wise:
DINING & TRAVEL
I ate cream cheese on a bagel. I ate smoked mackerel. I ate at one of Las Vegas's finest buffets, shortly after eating the best Egg McMuffin I have ever had. I drew a picture of myself with blood pouring out of my mouth in crayon at a $30-an-entree restaurant. I ordered filet mignon shortly after drawing said picture. It was delicious. The filet mignon, not the drawing. The drawing was underdone. Those things happened over the past six months.
FILM
My Netflix queue has become a cesspool. I still haven't finished my Best Movies of 2008 post, and it's almost 2010. Not that I'll be writing a 2009 post from the look of it... I have seen exactly one film in a theater since the last time I posted anything here: the sixth Harry Potter movie. It was great, until the end, when it absolutely blew. How do you make the most devastating moment in the series totally boring and matter-of-fact? Makes me want to puke in a sorting hat.
TV
Lost. That's about it. Almost done with season two, and so far it's everything I'd hoped for. Mad Men's been awesome, but that ain't news.
MUSIC
Kind of a blah year for Teh Rock. To invert a Louis CK truism, nothing is awesome, and everyone's happy. Really? We're happy that Animal Collective and Dirty Projectors are the only things we can really hang our hats on this year? We're fine with that being the direction of music?
The only real victory of the year, musically speaking, the only true, top-to-bottom legitimate contender for Best Album of 2009, is Manners, from Cambridge's own Passion Pit. Continuing the burgeoning trend of New Order/Devo fixation, as epitomized by the likes of Cut Copy and Holy Fuck and Hot Chip, Passion Pit have brought the synth-heavy sound to bright, fun, bouncy new places. There's nothing complicated or challenging about them... I don't see PP changing the game or blazing new trails in music or anything. But I don't care. Manners is flat-out incredible from start to finish. All the words being used to describe Merriweather Post Pavilion that I hated so much? "Danceable," "universal," "accessible," and so forth? Those words describe Passion Pit.
Behold:
"To Kingdom Come"
"Little Secrets"
"The Reeling"
See? Isn't that some fun-ass fun? You know it is.
(Also of interest is Andrew Kuo's thoughts, visualized, on a show of theirs last year as well as their debut EP, Chunk of Change.)
Basically, this is the one breakout masterpiece of the year. Manners is the only front-to-back excellent album of the year; even Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix has its uncompelling moments. It'd be great to hear another breakout pop album before Christmas but I'm not holding my breath. It's not that kind of year. (Embryonic doesn't count, cause Embryonic is fucked up.)
It's bad enough that my primary musical fascination since the beginning of the summer has been late 70's/early 80's punk (Buzzcocks, Wire, Minutemen) and post-punk (Gang of Four, Mission of Burma, Pere Ubu) and neither (Elvis Costello). I've gone 30 years back in time to find something that moves me. I don't think I'll be able to do this again next year.
But until then... Double Nickels On The Dime, you are fabulous.
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
In Praise Of The Idiot Box
It's garbage day! Two mammoth posts. I've been catching up on some TV lately:
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
This surprised me, as I was predisposed to hate this show. I once saw a commercial for the episode "Charlie Gets Cancer" and found the ad supremely unfunny. (Perhaps it was during the baseball playoffs on FX, when I was presumably pissed off about the Yankees or some such nonsense.) I rarely jump into shows about assholes, and this is definitely a show about assholes. The show should be called It's Always Assholes In Philadelphia. (Or maybe just Philadelphia would suffice?)
But my God, is this a really, really good show or what? Not great, but 2x really good. As social satire, it's right up there with Curb and Seinfeld, but with a serious gonzo/stupid streak. Seinfeld meets The Three Stooges. A really simple premise that has been dipped in some seriously off-the-wall shit. It's as if they made a list of the very worst things in the world, and cross off two or three with each episode.
Oh, yes. I'm not entirely sure why these clowns are so endearing, not just to us but to each other, but they are. (Probably a result of their inner Stooge-ness.) I got the good lord goin down on meeeeeee...
Battlestar Galactica
As someone who is generally skeptical of television sci-fi, this is really fantastic. I haven't gotten far enough into it to encounter what I understand is some seriously stupid shit, what I've seen through half of Season One is really excellent.
They pull few punches, and constantly wreak havoc upon their characters, burying them in disaster and giving them a mere toothpick with which to dig themselves out. Dread lies around every corner, ready ruin the entire human race if someone makes just one simple error. The first proper episode of the series establishes this so memorably that they can skate on things further down the road without losing credit. They make you imagine what it would be like to live in fear of the human race dying in the next few minutes.
This show about androids and space flight feels so real because it works on a personal, human level to a greater extent than any other sci-fi show I've seen. The drama doesn't come from imagining some weird alien universe, it comes from allegory and transplanted human feelings. On the show, it's Cylons attacking every 33 minutes; in real life, it's "terrorists" and 9/11.
Either way, highly recommended.
Mad Men
I can't say this is as great a show as it's been built up to be. But it's awfully great. It oozes cool and style and charisma in every frame, serving, as The Sopranos did, as a proxy through which the viewer behaves irresponsibly. You cannot agree with the show's subjects, who have probably done more damage to America than the Mafia, on any count, but Jon Hamm and his off-the-charts likability makes you like and even root for this amoral person nonetheless. He's just barely decent enough to grab you and keep hold as he navigates the slimy waters of his universe.
Heroes
Yes, it's flawed. It's camp, it's derivative, it has awful dialogue, its characters are stupid and frequently act in service of the plot instead of themselves, and it hand-holds you through every step of its labyrinthine plot, unwilling to let even the most fundamental truth go unspoken. But I like it all the same. Because it's fun.
But I'm beginning to lose my patience.
Ever since the first season, they've been flailing around, trying to make this show work. The second season was in many senses a do-over of the first. More new storylines, more unrevealed mysteries, just more, not unlike how The Wire handled its sophomore season... except Heroes was awful.
This season, they've tried to delve more deeply into the same characters, but in reality have done more to invalidate past truths than build upon them. It's been a litany of "remember that? Well that wasn't REALLY how it went" revelations. Why they would want to tell us that what we LIKED was fake, and what we do NOT like is the real deal, I don't know. It's a delicate dance that even when done supremely well can be loathed or rejected (ahem, Matrix Reloaded). This show's writing staff has failed to pull it off.
And while it's nice that they've heard our calls for fewer new characters, they have answered those calls in the most perfunctory manner possible: by simply teaming up odd pairs of heroes and having them do something benign. The effect is the same as, say, the effect satirized so well in the brilliant film Last Action Hero: the movies will always pair up cops in the craziest ways, like the lady cop with the cartoon cat, or (as with the stars) Arnold Schwarzenegger with an eleven-year-old kid. (Gosh, I wish I had video of this.) On the good side, you have something like Lethal Weapon. On the bad side, you have some of the more ridiculous Tom & Jerry cartoons out there, those in which Tom and Jerry have to team up to defeat some third entity, like the dog... it's thrilling because Tom and Jerry are enemies who have teamed up, but after a while, so what? And doesn't it totally undermine the premise (cats and mice) to team them up? Heroes, if you couldn't guess, leans heavily towards Tom & Jerry. Oddness for its own sake sucks after long enough.
So why do I keep watching? I honestly have no idea why this show has the distinction of being the only one I try to watch live. And yet it is. But if this crap keeps up, it won't be for long.
But let's end this on a high note:
30 Rock
Is awesome. I was stunned to discover that 30 Rock isn't a gigantic hit. This show is hilarious, madcap, and entirely accessible. There's no weird Arrested Development-esque barrier to watching... devoid of inside jokes and winks, you can jump in pretty much anywhere without missing a beat. And it killed Studio 60, and justifiably so. Why is this show stuck in the low-rated-Emmy-winners ghetto? It's no longer the mix of trail-blazing and quality that kills ratings... now it's strictly quality! Totally, totally bizarre.
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
This surprised me, as I was predisposed to hate this show. I once saw a commercial for the episode "Charlie Gets Cancer" and found the ad supremely unfunny. (Perhaps it was during the baseball playoffs on FX, when I was presumably pissed off about the Yankees or some such nonsense.) I rarely jump into shows about assholes, and this is definitely a show about assholes. The show should be called It's Always Assholes In Philadelphia. (Or maybe just Philadelphia would suffice?)
But my God, is this a really, really good show or what? Not great, but 2x really good. As social satire, it's right up there with Curb and Seinfeld, but with a serious gonzo/stupid streak. Seinfeld meets The Three Stooges. A really simple premise that has been dipped in some seriously off-the-wall shit. It's as if they made a list of the very worst things in the world, and cross off two or three with each episode.
Oh, yes. I'm not entirely sure why these clowns are so endearing, not just to us but to each other, but they are. (Probably a result of their inner Stooge-ness.) I got the good lord goin down on meeeeeee...
Battlestar Galactica
As someone who is generally skeptical of television sci-fi, this is really fantastic. I haven't gotten far enough into it to encounter what I understand is some seriously stupid shit, what I've seen through half of Season One is really excellent.
They pull few punches, and constantly wreak havoc upon their characters, burying them in disaster and giving them a mere toothpick with which to dig themselves out. Dread lies around every corner, ready ruin the entire human race if someone makes just one simple error. The first proper episode of the series establishes this so memorably that they can skate on things further down the road without losing credit. They make you imagine what it would be like to live in fear of the human race dying in the next few minutes.
This show about androids and space flight feels so real because it works on a personal, human level to a greater extent than any other sci-fi show I've seen. The drama doesn't come from imagining some weird alien universe, it comes from allegory and transplanted human feelings. On the show, it's Cylons attacking every 33 minutes; in real life, it's "terrorists" and 9/11.
Either way, highly recommended.
Mad Men
I can't say this is as great a show as it's been built up to be. But it's awfully great. It oozes cool and style and charisma in every frame, serving, as The Sopranos did, as a proxy through which the viewer behaves irresponsibly. You cannot agree with the show's subjects, who have probably done more damage to America than the Mafia, on any count, but Jon Hamm and his off-the-charts likability makes you like and even root for this amoral person nonetheless. He's just barely decent enough to grab you and keep hold as he navigates the slimy waters of his universe.
Heroes
Yes, it's flawed. It's camp, it's derivative, it has awful dialogue, its characters are stupid and frequently act in service of the plot instead of themselves, and it hand-holds you through every step of its labyrinthine plot, unwilling to let even the most fundamental truth go unspoken. But I like it all the same. Because it's fun.
But I'm beginning to lose my patience.
Ever since the first season, they've been flailing around, trying to make this show work. The second season was in many senses a do-over of the first. More new storylines, more unrevealed mysteries, just more, not unlike how The Wire handled its sophomore season... except Heroes was awful.
This season, they've tried to delve more deeply into the same characters, but in reality have done more to invalidate past truths than build upon them. It's been a litany of "remember that? Well that wasn't REALLY how it went" revelations. Why they would want to tell us that what we LIKED was fake, and what we do NOT like is the real deal, I don't know. It's a delicate dance that even when done supremely well can be loathed or rejected (ahem, Matrix Reloaded). This show's writing staff has failed to pull it off.
And while it's nice that they've heard our calls for fewer new characters, they have answered those calls in the most perfunctory manner possible: by simply teaming up odd pairs of heroes and having them do something benign. The effect is the same as, say, the effect satirized so well in the brilliant film Last Action Hero: the movies will always pair up cops in the craziest ways, like the lady cop with the cartoon cat, or (as with the stars) Arnold Schwarzenegger with an eleven-year-old kid. (Gosh, I wish I had video of this.) On the good side, you have something like Lethal Weapon. On the bad side, you have some of the more ridiculous Tom & Jerry cartoons out there, those in which Tom and Jerry have to team up to defeat some third entity, like the dog... it's thrilling because Tom and Jerry are enemies who have teamed up, but after a while, so what? And doesn't it totally undermine the premise (cats and mice) to team them up? Heroes, if you couldn't guess, leans heavily towards Tom & Jerry. Oddness for its own sake sucks after long enough.
So why do I keep watching? I honestly have no idea why this show has the distinction of being the only one I try to watch live. And yet it is. But if this crap keeps up, it won't be for long.
But let's end this on a high note:
30 Rock
Is awesome. I was stunned to discover that 30 Rock isn't a gigantic hit. This show is hilarious, madcap, and entirely accessible. There's no weird Arrested Development-esque barrier to watching... devoid of inside jokes and winks, you can jump in pretty much anywhere without missing a beat. And it killed Studio 60, and justifiably so. Why is this show stuck in the low-rated-Emmy-winners ghetto? It's no longer the mix of trail-blazing and quality that kills ratings... now it's strictly quality! Totally, totally bizarre.
Monday, February 11, 2008
They've Fixed A Huge Mistake
Hello, God? It's me, Jeff.
I don't ask for much. I expect a lot, sure, but I'll be damned if I'm going to ask for all that. I shouldn't have to! You can read minds, so you already know what I want. Yeah, like that. And that. See? Easy. Point is, I reserve questions for the things that are really important.
So with that in mind, here goes.
O God in Heaven... playing Scrabulous with Jesus and his pals in all their glory... please take a little time out of your busy schedule, pick up a phone, and MAKE THIS HAPPEN GODDAMMIT!!!
If you don't intervene, and this opportunity slips through your fingers... then God, you've made a huge mistake.
Amen.
I don't ask for much. I expect a lot, sure, but I'll be damned if I'm going to ask for all that. I shouldn't have to! You can read minds, so you already know what I want. Yeah, like that. And that. See? Easy. Point is, I reserve questions for the things that are really important.
So with that in mind, here goes.
O God in Heaven... playing Scrabulous with Jesus and his pals in all their glory... please take a little time out of your busy schedule, pick up a phone, and MAKE THIS HAPPEN GODDAMMIT!!!
If you don't intervene, and this opportunity slips through your fingers... then God, you've made a huge mistake.
Amen.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Way Down In The Hole
The Wire Season 5 arrives in just ten days. And then the clock starts ticking on the greatest, best, most important television show ever made.
In the meantime, here's a few ways to get excited.
* Watch the prequels. Cute.
* Yet another extensive David Simon interview, this one from a year ago. But it's got some great details in there. I'm constantly amazed that Simon gives such detailed interviews. Details are the trick. Someone can read 50 interviews with Brad Pitt hoping for that one detail to drop, but Simon consistently delivers the goods. The message is always the same in each 80-page conversation you read, but there's always something new.
* Kottke pointed out Heaven and Here, a fantastically erudite blog on the show and its meanings.
The first episode premieres Sunday... which means I should have it in my On Demand folder on Monday. I cannot wait.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
How Many Mutha Uckas?
Too many to count, mutha uckas...
If you think you can acquire a taste for this, I urge you to do so.
If you think you can acquire a taste for this, I urge you to do so.
Monday, July 16, 2007
The Tube Of Boob
(If only such a magnificent apparatus existed...)
Before I get into it, I wanted to note my tendency to review things almost exclusively in ones and threes. How many pairs of things have I reviewed without either comparing or contrasting? Or dare I say both? (Four, of course, is right out.) That's all I had to say on that. Just thought it was weird.
THE OFFICE (US)
Finally got around to the American version. It is indeed a different beast. It's not nearly as historic as the British version, and Michael Scott isn't anywhere close to the singularity of David Brent. On the other hand, they manage to make every single character in the office memorable and insightful.
But it's certainly reached the stage where the comparisons must end. The new version is consistently funny and fantastically written. A great sitcom.
JOHN FROM CINCINNATI
I love this show. It defies explanation; no demographic pigeonholing is possible. Not a comedy, not a family drama in the strictest sense, not a show "about surfing," not an angry man's weirdo HBO show... just an ingenious little story about forgiveness.
Its structure reminds me of The Wire, in that not a lot happens on a daily basis, but the universe of the show is so compelling that nobody cares. Six episodes in, I'd say only three or four things have actually happened. And that sparseness doesn't matter, not even a little. Imperial Beach is just that fascinating, in and of itself.
The amazing, iconic dialogue these characters have been given certainly helps. John's tendency to parrot sentences contributes to the iconic feel of each turn of phrase, but they're also great turns of phrase to begin with. I can't get over the incredible stuff they come up with on a weekly basis for Ed O'Neill... off-the-charts hilarious and heartbreakingly sad and crazy at the same time. He's both the most and least normal person on the show. But this is a guy at the periphery of what action there is... and he's totally gripping.
Most of all, it's impressive that they can shape such coarse dialogue into a show that has so much soul. No show has its heart in the right place more than this one.
Strongly recommended to anyone with a little patience.
FREAKS & GEEKS
I have watched two episodes, but it only took the first episode for me to lose my shit that this show got fucking cancelled. I'm totally beside myself right now.
This show should be taught in schools. This show gets Judd Apatow a free pass for life. So he wants to make a TV show about paint drying? Give the man a chance! That's how good it is.
And yet it was aborted before being given any kind of a chance. There's more genius in fifteen minutes of Freaks & Geeks than you'll find in entire seasons of shows that weren't cancelled. JAG was on the air for ten seasons. FUCKING TEN!!! I can't name a single notable thing about that show, and it got 242 episodes. (I looked.) And these knucklehead networks can't figure out a way to keep a show full of broke-ass nobodies on the air? Out of 22 hours of prime-time programming every week, they can't take one hour and devote it to vegetables... it's all gotta be ice cream. What a joke. Fuck you, NBC.
The only explanation that makes any sense is that the show was somehow cancelled by accident. Like, they meant to cancel one of the fourteen Law & Order spinoffs, but some first-day-on-the-job intern clicked the wrong button by accident, and by the time someone figured out what had happened it was too late. That makes sense, because at least the incompetence can be chalked up to human error.
Yeah. This is all after two episodes. I have no idea what else happens, but I strongly suspect that whatever comes next won't change my mind.
So I guess I haven't really said anything yet. Turns out I'm angrier about the cancellation than I am insightful about the show. But I have some basic impressions:
I admit that this wasn't much of a review. "This show kicks ass" doesn't help much. But hey, I haven't exactly seen it either, so I shouldn't say much anyway, right? I just know what I love, and I love this.
And NBC... go fuck yourself. Did I say that already? Well, just in case, fuck all of you. Seriously. Because apparently the rest of the world agrees, for the most part. That's right. Eat shit, NBC. Eat my shit. All of it.
Before I get into it, I wanted to note my tendency to review things almost exclusively in ones and threes. How many pairs of things have I reviewed without either comparing or contrasting? Or dare I say both? (Four, of course, is right out.) That's all I had to say on that. Just thought it was weird.
THE OFFICE (US)
Finally got around to the American version. It is indeed a different beast. It's not nearly as historic as the British version, and Michael Scott isn't anywhere close to the singularity of David Brent. On the other hand, they manage to make every single character in the office memorable and insightful.
But it's certainly reached the stage where the comparisons must end. The new version is consistently funny and fantastically written. A great sitcom.
JOHN FROM CINCINNATI
I love this show. It defies explanation; no demographic pigeonholing is possible. Not a comedy, not a family drama in the strictest sense, not a show "about surfing," not an angry man's weirdo HBO show... just an ingenious little story about forgiveness.
Its structure reminds me of The Wire, in that not a lot happens on a daily basis, but the universe of the show is so compelling that nobody cares. Six episodes in, I'd say only three or four things have actually happened. And that sparseness doesn't matter, not even a little. Imperial Beach is just that fascinating, in and of itself.
The amazing, iconic dialogue these characters have been given certainly helps. John's tendency to parrot sentences contributes to the iconic feel of each turn of phrase, but they're also great turns of phrase to begin with. I can't get over the incredible stuff they come up with on a weekly basis for Ed O'Neill... off-the-charts hilarious and heartbreakingly sad and crazy at the same time. He's both the most and least normal person on the show. But this is a guy at the periphery of what action there is... and he's totally gripping.
Most of all, it's impressive that they can shape such coarse dialogue into a show that has so much soul. No show has its heart in the right place more than this one.
Strongly recommended to anyone with a little patience.
FREAKS & GEEKS
I have watched two episodes, but it only took the first episode for me to lose my shit that this show got fucking cancelled. I'm totally beside myself right now.
This show should be taught in schools. This show gets Judd Apatow a free pass for life. So he wants to make a TV show about paint drying? Give the man a chance! That's how good it is.
And yet it was aborted before being given any kind of a chance. There's more genius in fifteen minutes of Freaks & Geeks than you'll find in entire seasons of shows that weren't cancelled. JAG was on the air for ten seasons. FUCKING TEN!!! I can't name a single notable thing about that show, and it got 242 episodes. (I looked.) And these knucklehead networks can't figure out a way to keep a show full of broke-ass nobodies on the air? Out of 22 hours of prime-time programming every week, they can't take one hour and devote it to vegetables... it's all gotta be ice cream. What a joke. Fuck you, NBC.
The only explanation that makes any sense is that the show was somehow cancelled by accident. Like, they meant to cancel one of the fourteen Law & Order spinoffs, but some first-day-on-the-job intern clicked the wrong button by accident, and by the time someone figured out what had happened it was too late. That makes sense, because at least the incompetence can be chalked up to human error.
Yeah. This is all after two episodes. I have no idea what else happens, but I strongly suspect that whatever comes next won't change my mind.
So I guess I haven't really said anything yet. Turns out I'm angrier about the cancellation than I am insightful about the show. But I have some basic impressions:
- Seth Rogen is a genius.
- Jason Segel is a genius.
- Martin Starr is a genius.
- Screw it, they're all fucking geniuses.
- Even James Franco is a genius. Who knew he had an actual pedigree??? I'm stunned. I mean, I thought he was good given the expectations of yet another cookie-cutter James Dean wannabe... but he's pretty good without any qualifiers. Like, you can tell he's bigger than the show. I never would have guessed.
- I found myself getting kinda attached to Linda Cardellini, and feeling like a creep about it. I mean, she's in high school, right? So I felt all weird and dirty... until I found out she was about 24 years old when she made the show. Sweet! I don't have to go to jail!
I admit that this wasn't much of a review. "This show kicks ass" doesn't help much. But hey, I haven't exactly seen it either, so I shouldn't say much anyway, right? I just know what I love, and I love this.
And NBC... go fuck yourself. Did I say that already? Well, just in case, fuck all of you. Seriously. Because apparently the rest of the world agrees, for the most part. That's right. Eat shit, NBC. Eat my shit. All of it.
Friday, May 25, 2007
What Does This Mean?
Big news on the entertainment front: Johnny Drama uses the same phone that I do!
Don't all start asking questions at once!!!
It's on display in the episode from a couple weeks ago, where he's trying to avoid all the reviews of his new show. Towards the end, he's getting a bunch of calls on his cell phone, and wouldn't you know, it's the exact same model as mine:
I like seeing my stuff on TV. Sure, it's Drama, but it's my phone, and it's on TV. I find the defendant... TOTALLY AWESOME.
The great thing is that it fits his character. It's not the greatest phone in the world... nice enough that you don't look like a hobo answering your calls, but sensible enough that Drama could have gotten it for free by signing a two-year contract. In a weird way, it affirms my taste.
Then again, it's Drama. Much as I enjoyed it, this is not nearly as cool as when I noticed that Ron Wood plays the same Les Paul that I do. That was sweet. This is more like finding out I have one of George Costanza's personality quirks. Or that I own the same shirt as Screech from Saved By The Bell. Or something. I own nothing of Screech's, honestly. And I didn't send him any money to save his house. (I hope he's OK!)
Don't all start asking questions at once!!!
It's on display in the episode from a couple weeks ago, where he's trying to avoid all the reviews of his new show. Towards the end, he's getting a bunch of calls on his cell phone, and wouldn't you know, it's the exact same model as mine:
I like seeing my stuff on TV. Sure, it's Drama, but it's my phone, and it's on TV. I find the defendant... TOTALLY AWESOME.
The great thing is that it fits his character. It's not the greatest phone in the world... nice enough that you don't look like a hobo answering your calls, but sensible enough that Drama could have gotten it for free by signing a two-year contract. In a weird way, it affirms my taste.
Then again, it's Drama. Much as I enjoyed it, this is not nearly as cool as when I noticed that Ron Wood plays the same Les Paul that I do. That was sweet. This is more like finding out I have one of George Costanza's personality quirks. Or that I own the same shirt as Screech from Saved By The Bell. Or something. I own nothing of Screech's, honestly. And I didn't send him any money to save his house. (I hope he's OK!)
Thursday, February 01, 2007
OH NOES TEH AQUA TEENS ARE BOMBS!!!
I would love to discuss the bomb threat at the length it deserves. Unfortunately, the process of rebutting the Boston media and the mentally-handicapped elected officials from Massachusetts has left me literally shaking with rage. Today, I am ashamed to come from Boston. Since it may never see the light of day, here's the short version. (Yes, this is the short version.)
The advertising campaign (not a hoax, which implies intent to fool, of which there is none) was brilliant. Not irresponsible, not asinine, not even remotely in questionable taste... just ingenious. And really, really funny.
The reaction from the city, and the seriousness with which the situation was treated, is as close to real-life satire as you can get. The outrage exhibited by local media types and politicians has been laughable. Their hideous attempts to insist that this is unfunny only makes the whole fiasco that much funnier. Any more of this petty, shameful grandstanding from Gov. Deval Patrick, Rep. Ed Markey and Mayor Mumbles Menino and I might have an asthma attack from laughing so hard in their idiot faces.
Here's where it stops being funny: two guys are sitting in jail right now, because nobody gets the joke.
Aside from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, that is the most disgusting thing that has ever happened in the name of 9/11. Some poor bastards posted ADVERTISEMENTS that were misinterpreted by the police... "misinterpreted" meaning THE POLICE WERE WRONG!!!!!!!!... and the guys who put up the signs get put in jail! For no legitimate reason beyond petty revenge and politically-driven outrage. As Jim Ross would say, that is just sick.
Not one person has come forward and acknowledged what I consider to be the truth of the situation: that nobody is at fault, and that nothing should have happened any differently than it did. Everyone's too busy trying to blame someone. Meanwhile, the poor guys who posted the signs are locked up because Mumbles Menino has a hair across his ass. Shame on him. And shame on the rest of the government for not even acknowledging their own role in this mess. And people wonder why young people don't show an interest in politics!
Here's another interesting thing: haven't we Dazzling Urbanites been trained to expect this sort of thing from back-woods country towns? Ol' Herm sees a suspicious DHL package and calls in the sheriff, yelling "It's the Al Qaedas!!!" So the sheriff locks up the delivery guy the next day, until they open the package and find a bunch of ladies' undergarments meant for the town schoolteacher. And we coastal folks would laugh and laugh... "oh those backwards redneck hicks, aren't they foolish" and so forth. Well, not so fast, because that's pretty much what happened yesterday in Boston, Massachusetts. The Athens of America. One of our country's most sophisticated and intellectual cities. That's a touchdown for Rural America, my friends, and the PAT is good. Rurals 7, Boston 0.
I would love to link to the stories that have so infuriated me. I'd love to show you the picture of the two "defendants" laughing in court. I'd love to illustrate the deeply sickening bias in the media's portrayal of this entire story, from bigwig traditional media like the Globe and the Herald to wannabe-reputable blogs like Bostonist. But linking to these sites would only help them perpetuate their view of the story, a view that I consider to be not just wrong but far more irresponsible in nature than anything the Turner people have been accused of. Besides, I don't want anyone else to get pissed off... nobody should ever be as livid as I am right now.
More later, if I get my shit together.
The advertising campaign (not a hoax, which implies intent to fool, of which there is none) was brilliant. Not irresponsible, not asinine, not even remotely in questionable taste... just ingenious. And really, really funny.
The reaction from the city, and the seriousness with which the situation was treated, is as close to real-life satire as you can get. The outrage exhibited by local media types and politicians has been laughable. Their hideous attempts to insist that this is unfunny only makes the whole fiasco that much funnier. Any more of this petty, shameful grandstanding from Gov. Deval Patrick, Rep. Ed Markey and Mayor Mumbles Menino and I might have an asthma attack from laughing so hard in their idiot faces.
Here's where it stops being funny: two guys are sitting in jail right now, because nobody gets the joke.
Aside from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, that is the most disgusting thing that has ever happened in the name of 9/11. Some poor bastards posted ADVERTISEMENTS that were misinterpreted by the police... "misinterpreted" meaning THE POLICE WERE WRONG!!!!!!!!... and the guys who put up the signs get put in jail! For no legitimate reason beyond petty revenge and politically-driven outrage. As Jim Ross would say, that is just sick.
Not one person has come forward and acknowledged what I consider to be the truth of the situation: that nobody is at fault, and that nothing should have happened any differently than it did. Everyone's too busy trying to blame someone. Meanwhile, the poor guys who posted the signs are locked up because Mumbles Menino has a hair across his ass. Shame on him. And shame on the rest of the government for not even acknowledging their own role in this mess. And people wonder why young people don't show an interest in politics!
Here's another interesting thing: haven't we Dazzling Urbanites been trained to expect this sort of thing from back-woods country towns? Ol' Herm sees a suspicious DHL package and calls in the sheriff, yelling "It's the Al Qaedas!!!" So the sheriff locks up the delivery guy the next day, until they open the package and find a bunch of ladies' undergarments meant for the town schoolteacher. And we coastal folks would laugh and laugh... "oh those backwards redneck hicks, aren't they foolish" and so forth. Well, not so fast, because that's pretty much what happened yesterday in Boston, Massachusetts. The Athens of America. One of our country's most sophisticated and intellectual cities. That's a touchdown for Rural America, my friends, and the PAT is good. Rurals 7, Boston 0.
I would love to link to the stories that have so infuriated me. I'd love to show you the picture of the two "defendants" laughing in court. I'd love to illustrate the deeply sickening bias in the media's portrayal of this entire story, from bigwig traditional media like the Globe and the Herald to wannabe-reputable blogs like Bostonist. But linking to these sites would only help them perpetuate their view of the story, a view that I consider to be not just wrong but far more irresponsible in nature than anything the Turner people have been accused of. Besides, I don't want anyone else to get pissed off... nobody should ever be as livid as I am right now.
More later, if I get my shit together.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Happy Holidays
In the spirit of the season, I'd like to share my favorite Dick in a Box link thus far, from kottke.org, summarizing the high point of the video. Verrr niiiiiiiiiiice. The bottom of the post links to several tribute videos, which I presume are also entertaining. Sure, I may not have clicked on the Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head version yet, seeing as I'm at work, but I can't believe that won't be worth a look.
Honorable mention goes to Wikipedia, but only because the header of the article reads "SNL Digital Shorts (redirected from Dick in a Box)", which I find perversely entertaining.
Dishonorable mention goes to Busted Tees, if only because a t-shirt was the natural next step in the cultural progression. The fact that they're already back-ordered by two weeks, when the video hasn't even existed for one week, troubles me. Is that what happens to our nation's inside jokes? We pummel them to death inside of a week because we're racing each other to see who make money off of it before everyone else? This country is crazier than a dick in a box.
Honorable mention goes to Wikipedia, but only because the header of the article reads "SNL Digital Shorts (redirected from Dick in a Box)", which I find perversely entertaining.
Dishonorable mention goes to Busted Tees, if only because a t-shirt was the natural next step in the cultural progression. The fact that they're already back-ordered by two weeks, when the video hasn't even existed for one week, troubles me. Is that what happens to our nation's inside jokes? We pummel them to death inside of a week because we're racing each other to see who make money off of it before everyone else? This country is crazier than a dick in a box.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Enough With The Music Already!
It's been all-music-all-the-time on this POS blog lately. Let's mix it up.
STUDIO 60
I think I have officially stopped watching Studio 60. It's entertaining enough, I guess. But that's just it, isn't it? "I guess." If they haven't got me by now, what would I miss, really, if I stop watching?
I don't know, it just feels contrived. Sports Night looks like a crappy office, and thus feels very true. The West Wing looks incredibly lush, which of course one would expect from the White House, but is inhabited by uncharacteristically cute and quirky individuals. Hence the appeal. Studio 60, on the other hand, is the mother of all TV shows. If a show treated itself like the White House, you'd have Studio 60. It's beyond belief.
More importantly, you lose an important Sorkin element: seeing an austere environment populated by quirky nutbags. It's the juxtaposition of context that makes Sports Night and The West Wing work as much as they do. Weirdo smart-asses running America, or a pull-up-your-bootstraps TV show, is appealing. Being amusing is enough, because that amusing behavior breaks down barriers of seriousness. Those barriers don't exist in the Studio 60 world... because it's a comedy show! OF COURSE they're funny! It's exactly what you expect! They're in context! Where's the surprise?
Removing that fish-out-of-water element leaves you with being amused by the weekly dramas surrounding the assembly of a television show that's too impeccable, and not funny enough, to believe.
It's really too bad, because it seemed like Sorkin-heads have finally reached critical mass. We could have supported a fledgling show. But I don't see this making it much further. The cost of paying all these actors has to be friggin off the charts.
NIP/TUCK
Slowly, but surely, catching up to real time. I'm a couple episodes into Season 3 now. I gotta say, Season 2 was the most consistently mind-fucking series of TV I've ever watched. Every episode left you in need of a hug. And the cliffhanger goes in the Mindfuck Hall of Fame. I was mesmerized. They sure know how to end a season.
Gotta say, though... I'm hoping they don't start to slip. The apparent distress caused in episode 2, by the news that Dr. Troy's gorilla patient had been killed by her mate, teetered well into Unintentional Comedy terrain. Oh noes, the gorilla died. But for God's sake, Doctor, did the Thompson's gazelle survive??? The hallmark of Nip/Tuck is making ridiculous circumstances believable, but that may have been the first one that totally failed. I'd rather not have that happen again. Hopefully it's just a blip on the radar.
THE DEPARTED
Great movie. Leaps and bounds ahead of Infernal Affairs, the Hong Kong classic on which it's based. It's no GoodFellas, but still one of the better gangster movies in recent memory. As laugh-out-loud funny as a serious gangster movie will ever get. Not that it's all a big joke; It's certainly faithful to Boston, in terms of accents, locations, racism, and the gallows humor. And what's more, Crazy Jack seems perfectly at home in my fair city. Maybe he should move!
My main complaint is with the the conclusion(s). Without spoiling anything, I expected something a little more jarring. And given that it wasn't, I'm not sure what the intended message is (besides "bang," that is). I really can't elaborate further without ruining everything. But I want to see it again... maybe another look will make my gripes disappear.
Anyway, definitely worth the price of admission. I give it 4 pahhhking spahts out of 5.
STUDIO 60
I think I have officially stopped watching Studio 60. It's entertaining enough, I guess. But that's just it, isn't it? "I guess." If they haven't got me by now, what would I miss, really, if I stop watching?
I don't know, it just feels contrived. Sports Night looks like a crappy office, and thus feels very true. The West Wing looks incredibly lush, which of course one would expect from the White House, but is inhabited by uncharacteristically cute and quirky individuals. Hence the appeal. Studio 60, on the other hand, is the mother of all TV shows. If a show treated itself like the White House, you'd have Studio 60. It's beyond belief.
More importantly, you lose an important Sorkin element: seeing an austere environment populated by quirky nutbags. It's the juxtaposition of context that makes Sports Night and The West Wing work as much as they do. Weirdo smart-asses running America, or a pull-up-your-bootstraps TV show, is appealing. Being amusing is enough, because that amusing behavior breaks down barriers of seriousness. Those barriers don't exist in the Studio 60 world... because it's a comedy show! OF COURSE they're funny! It's exactly what you expect! They're in context! Where's the surprise?
Removing that fish-out-of-water element leaves you with being amused by the weekly dramas surrounding the assembly of a television show that's too impeccable, and not funny enough, to believe.
It's really too bad, because it seemed like Sorkin-heads have finally reached critical mass. We could have supported a fledgling show. But I don't see this making it much further. The cost of paying all these actors has to be friggin off the charts.
NIP/TUCK
Slowly, but surely, catching up to real time. I'm a couple episodes into Season 3 now. I gotta say, Season 2 was the most consistently mind-fucking series of TV I've ever watched. Every episode left you in need of a hug. And the cliffhanger goes in the Mindfuck Hall of Fame. I was mesmerized. They sure know how to end a season.
Gotta say, though... I'm hoping they don't start to slip. The apparent distress caused in episode 2, by the news that Dr. Troy's gorilla patient had been killed by her mate, teetered well into Unintentional Comedy terrain. Oh noes, the gorilla died. But for God's sake, Doctor, did the Thompson's gazelle survive??? The hallmark of Nip/Tuck is making ridiculous circumstances believable, but that may have been the first one that totally failed. I'd rather not have that happen again. Hopefully it's just a blip on the radar.
THE DEPARTED
Great movie. Leaps and bounds ahead of Infernal Affairs, the Hong Kong classic on which it's based. It's no GoodFellas, but still one of the better gangster movies in recent memory. As laugh-out-loud funny as a serious gangster movie will ever get. Not that it's all a big joke; It's certainly faithful to Boston, in terms of accents, locations, racism, and the gallows humor. And what's more, Crazy Jack seems perfectly at home in my fair city. Maybe he should move!
My main complaint is with the the conclusion(s). Without spoiling anything, I expected something a little more jarring. And given that it wasn't, I'm not sure what the intended message is (besides "bang," that is). I really can't elaborate further without ruining everything. But I want to see it again... maybe another look will make my gripes disappear.
Anyway, definitely worth the price of admission. I give it 4 pahhhking spahts out of 5.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)