However, that all changed once I became aware, mere minutes ago, of the following Hall-of-Fame caliber quote:
Don't just stare at it... eat it.Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I have no idea what it's referring to, but I have a few theories, and I like every single one of them. Man, I've got to see this movie.
Hmmm... actually, I wonder if knowing the actual context will ruin everything. It may just end up disappointing me. Because what could live up to its out-of-context brilliance? Okay, better not see it after all. But I still get to keep the quote!
I guess I'm just a sucker for any comeback that commands the other person to eat something. I don't know why it works, I just know that it works. Sure, you can trace it back to an old classic like "eat shit and die," or the ever-popular "eat a bag of dicks," which is fast approaching "douchebag" as a go-to put-down in the lexicon of the American elite. But as far as I'm concerned, there's just an innate joy in telling someone, violently and angrily, to eat things.
(Aside: this feeling first made itself known while watching an episode of Arrested Development wherein a (very) young George Michael Bluth, dressed as the Tin Man, watches an episode of Oz without realizing that it isn't a show about Dorothy and the Wizard. Pretty clever, but what really banged the joke home is the unseen convict who screams, through the television, "EAT IT, BITCH!!!" Kills me every time. Top 5 moment of the series for me. Wouldn't have worked as well without the prison equivalent of "abbondanza!")
Anyway, at some point in the next 3-6 months I will be able to slip "don't just stare at it, eat it" into an otherwise innocent conversation, and glide for a moment or two on the wings of double entendre deliciousness. Just knowing that this day is coming is enough to clear up my case of The Mondays. Ahhhhhhhhhh.