Moon Over My Hammy

According to Idolator, the Unification Church owns Manhattan concert venue Hammerstein Ballroom, so that they can perform mass marriages there.  Yikes.  This is the same church/cult founded by Rev. Sun Myung Moon, after Jesus instructed him in 1935 to undo the disastrous effect of original sin on humanity.  I suppose it's possible that concert halls, fisheries and irrelevant right-wing newspapers are what Jesus would have tackled next, had he not been so rudely interrupted by those pesky Romans.  In fact, wasn't it Mark 14:73-74...

(73) And the LORD said, "Blessed art thou
Who booketh Christina Aguilera
With special guest Nate Dogg."
(74) Thus came the masses to huddle forth
And pass amongst their numbers the loaves and fishes
And sheets of papyrus, upon which could be seen
The doings of Nazarene folk who sayeth one thing
And yet doeth things other.

(Please note that I did not use the common derogatory term for members of the UC.  I don't want any antiquated religious slurs thrown back in my face if I ever move to Virginia and run for Senator.)