Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Yeah, But Where Did The LIGHTER FLUID Come From?

I just got back from my office's Christmas party. Excellent time, great food, and best of all, an open bar. Had to drive home though; file that one under "dagnabbit" or something similar. Anyway, there's something I need to talk about. It's a little embarrassing, though I have to assert that I enjoyed myself thoroughly tonight, and my beef is no reflection on my employer in any way.

The entertainment tonight was a magician.

Now, this seems innocent enough. Magicians are fun, they're cheap, and they're good for some unintentional comedy. But to someone who has spent the last few months obsessed with Arrested Development, this was a near-catastrophe. GOB Bluth is the eldest Bluth son, and the #1 jackass on a show populated almost entirely by jackasses. GOB, as you may know, is a magician by trade. Every portrayal of GOB performing magic ends with either failure, embarrassment, explosions, living burials, or all of the above. And the show clearly has a lot of disdain for magicians in general, making them out to be glorified village idiots. So I can't really watch magicians anymore without wanting to laugh on the inside.

Now, when I showed up at the bar, this guy pulled me aside to show me some card tricks. I was reluctant, sensing immediately that I was about to let myself be entertained by GOB. Turns out he was good with cards, so I felt like less of a schmuck afterwards. And he pulled off a few good tricks in his show, and also pulled a pink thong from my pants (I'll spare you the gory details). But even though he salvaged his reputation in my mind, I still can't take magicians seriously. And I do feel like a semi-putz for having sat through an hour of magic tricks.

Oh wait, my mistake. It's not a trick...'s an ILLUSION!

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